DigitalSloth

I had my interview with UNCSA this weekend.

The day started off with a financial aid presentation followed by a Q&A session. The information provided was important to incoming true freshmen and their parents but not particularly valuable to me. It was still a good opportunity for me to evaluate the school's admissions department and staff.

Following the logistics info dump, we were taken on a tour of the facilities by some of the current students. There was a set prepared for shooting a classroom scene which was nice to see, and the students were able to provide good answers to the questions being asked.

After the tour they presented a couple of fifteen minute films, and then separated the prospective students for a brief writing assignment.

Next were the interviews.

According to the letter I received from the school I should be prepared to talk about my inspirations, films or directors that had influenced me and why, and share any artwork or previous film experience. Well they didn't talk to me about any of that. They didn't even request to see the writing assignment we had just worked on. The only thing they were even remotely interested in discussing with me was whether or not I understood what I was getting into and if I would be able to relate with the much younger students. At 32 I'm much older than the traditional freshmen, so I understand their concern, but I want to do this. I want to be around young people who have dreams and are willing to work hard to achieve them. I want to immerse myself in an environment full of optimism and possibilities. I want to be around people who are alive.

At the conclusion of the interview, it appeared to me I was able to address their concerns, but now my brain just won't shut down; it's run amok with ruminating thoughts. I can't stop thinking about all the things I wish I could go back and say, or re-say, or emphasize, or elaborate on, or – or –or – or.

There's nothing else I can do. I gave the best of myself I could give in 20 minutes. The only thing I can do is release my hopes to the world, be at peace with myself and god, and if I could just tell them I really, really want this, and if I could…

find that damn 'off' switch!

Tags:
Categories: Life

Seems almost cliche that the first entry under the category 'Life' would be titled 'Death', but the reason for this posting is in regards to the passing of my grandfather on my dad's side of the family.

I never really knew the man, as my father's side of the family is not particularly close.  I haven't seen my cousins or uncles in decades, and only recently saw my grandparents within the last couple of years after being out of contact for ages.

What does it mean, really?  His life and death.  I would guess for a lot of people losing a grandparent is a rather significant event.  They've been there for holidays, birthdays, reunions, graduations, etc.  This particular grandfather has been little more than a name attached to a rough memory tucked away in a dusty closet somewhere in my mind.  Yet still I feel loss, and that's why I'm filing this post under 'Life'.  I believe, despite the lack of direct personal interaction with him, my grandfather's life is significantly impactful on my own.  Obviously there's an indirect impact through my relationship with my own father, but I'm talking about something more significant.  Whether it's spiritual, purely biological, or some combination of the two, his life has profound implications not just on myself but others as well.  I feel it more than I know or understand it.

Perhaps I'm more moved not by the passing of a relationship, but for the passing of one that never was.

Tags:
Categories: Life